He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
