If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
