Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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