I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
