Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Randomize
