Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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