Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
