At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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