i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
