No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
