i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
