i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
