I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
