he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
