what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
