Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
