I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
