i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
