where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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