Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
