It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
