the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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