I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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