i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
