We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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