if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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