Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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