Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Even my vagina gasped.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
