just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
