you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
