It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
