how hairy? two words: wookie tits
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
