Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
