No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
