As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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