VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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