Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Are these your boobs on my camera?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
