Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
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