Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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