How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
