can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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