yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
its not stalking. its research.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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