I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How does it feel to date your dad?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
