If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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