the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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