Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
