You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
