you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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