brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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