matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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