just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
4 words: hood of his car
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
